Vern Reviews SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR!!

SPOILER ALERT !!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

Vern, you magnificent beast, only you would review this one for us.

No, no. Only you could review this one for us.

Heaps of fun as always, sir. Thanks.

First there was BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA. Then there was MARY SHELLY’S FRANKENSTEIN. Now, finally, we have SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR. In this case though the man in the title is not the author of the work, but the host, a duty he first mastered in that other great film with his name in the title, SNOOP DOGG’S DOGGYSTYLE.

You guys had a test screening review of HOOD OF HORROR a long time ago. Since then I guess it played that “AFTER DARK HORROR FEST” thing which I’m sure most of you also boycotted due to 1. lack of interest 2. not wanting to validate all those web advertisements with the annoying screaming sounds. I read somewhere this one was going to get an actual, legitimate more than 2-days type theatrical release, and I can’t find a release date for the DVD anywhere. So I guess we gotta assume the DVD screener I watched was for Academy Award consideration. Good luck Snoop, I’m rooting for you.

Hood of HorrorThe crudely animated opening tells the story of Devon (played by a sequential series of drawings of Snoop), a gangster who accidentally kills his little sister in a drive-by shooting. To set things straight he makes a deal with a demon and/or devil. In exchange for his sister coming back to life, he will host a horror anthology. Also he does the theme song, not sure if that was part of the deal or just something he did because he believed in the project.

So now Devon is in live action, he gets a pair of gold braids and a throne in Hell which, it turns out, looks like a small warehouse where you would shoot a low budget rap video. His curse is to hang out with the damned and tell them moralistic horror stories until they’re redeemed. Like most anthologies these stories are a mixed bag, but nabbing Snoop as the host and giving him this backstory was a stroke of the ol’ genius. The guy is so charismatic strutting toward the camera flanked by his demonic hoes and his midget sidekick Half Pint, asking us, “Y’all ready for some crazy shit?” And just in the first 5 or 10 minutes of the movie we get a pretty good selection of crazy shit: animated Snoop calling a demon the n-word, Half Pint puking a bunch of blood on the floor, Devon promising his “legless homey Footloose” a shoe endorsement deal. The movie doesn’t live up to this great opening, but it’s able to coast on it for a while, so I had fun.

The first story really stays dedicated to the frequent delivery of crazy shit. A female graffiti artist is kidnapped by Danny Trejo, dragged to some kind of candle-lit occult lair, tied up and forcibly tattooed using a crow feather. She has a positive attitude about the whole experience though because when it’s all done she looks at her new skeleton hand tattoo and says, “Damn, that’s tight.”

Little does she realize that she now possesses deadly graffiti powers. When she crosses out someone’s tag with her curdled-blood-like red spraypaint, that person will die in some horrible accident. For example, a guy’s belt buckle is stuck when he’s trying to sexually assault somebody, and while trying to pry it open he bumps the gun tucked in his waistband and shoots his own dick off. Later, one of his friends is pouring one on the curb for him, slips in the puddle he creates and impales his head on the 40 oz. bottle, creating a spectacular geyser of blood and malt liquor. (Don’t worry, they give the victims each different ethnic backgrounds so it won’t seem racist.) This is good stuff, this is exactly what I want to see when I visit a Hood of Horror.

But, the other two stories are slower and not as funny. The second has a cartoonishly over-the-top (and not in a good way) Texan couple inheriting a building inhabited by his late father’s Vietnam platoon. Ernie Hudson (THE SUBSTITUTE) gives an admirably serious performance as one of the vets trying to stop the slumlord from screwing over his sick war buddies. But the story only really gets fun at the end when it stops making sense and just creates ridiculous deaths, like when they somehow cause BAYWATCH’s Brande Roderick to explode using a vacuum full of caviar (?).

Then the third story is an overly serious IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE type deal where a famous rapper has to watch clips from his life and find out what he did wrong. Like most movies with actors playing famous rappers (think SNAKES ON A PLANE) you immediately see that this guy doesn’t have the presence or charisma to really be a famous rapper. And the tensions between him and his partner don’t have time to develop believably. Jason Alexander has a cameo doing a terrible British accent, and he doesn’t even get to die in the movie.

This story was a bust, but I did kind of like the idea that this rapper got his career by praying to God, and now God is pissed at what he’s done with that career. You never see God, but a zombie delivers the message that He wants rappers to stop thanking Him at awards shows.

In alot of anthologies the connective tissue is the worst part, but in this one you’re always happy when Snoop is on screen. He not only introduces the stories but shows up in them for little cameos. In the rapper story he’s on the red carpet at an awards show interviewing Method Man. I’m not surprised Hell sends people to do red carpet interviews, that just makes sense. In the slumlord story we find out that Devon and Half Pint are the elevator operators that bring dead people to Hell. And there’s an awesome shot where a glowing-eyed Devon shoots a chihuahua, causing it to explode.

Devon is not a catchy enough name, but in my opinion this guy has what it takes to be a great horror host. I don’t want to insult the Cryptkeeper, who has put in many fine years of brave and honorable service. But facts are facts, and Devon is a much cooler host. He has a smooth voice instead of whiny, he is restrained in his use of puns (though not rhymes), he is exquisitely tailored and he looks cool towering lankily over his hellish posse. I bet the Cryptkeeper is pretty fuckin jealous, especially when he sees the trailer calling Snoop a “Cribkeeper.” I mean how is a little decomposing shrimp like him gonna compete with that? Well, in Cryptkeeper’s defense, it’s cool that he’s decomposing. Snoop needs that digital eye glow to look like a monster.

HOOD OF HORROR was created by Tim Sullivan, whose 2001 MANIACS I didn’t like so much. I wondered if he knew this “hood horror anthology” concept had already been done in Rusty Cundieff’s TALES FROM THE HOOD. Then I read that he actually made the movie because he loved TALES and thought there should’ve been sequels. From what I remember, TALES was a little more successful storywise, but you gotta give credit to Sullivan for the idea of tying these type of stories to a demonic Snoop Dogg. In retrospect, that is obviously what TALES was missing.

The director is Stacy Title, the woman who directed THE LAST SUPPER. If you don’t know that one it’s a pretty decent 1995 independent comedy about a group of misguided liberals who invite people to dinner and then poison them and bury them in the garden if they turn out to be assholes. (They like composting.) Her new movie uses a few too many flashes and avid farts, but the direction is pretty competent, and the photography has a distinctive (if cheap) look to it. I’m glad they didn’t just get some shitty music video director who’s not ready to make movies, which is what I would expect for a movie put out by Xenon Pictures. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful to them for putting out the 7-disc Dolemite box set (“Officially Disapproved by The Man”), but when they’re putting out new movies they’re not a name I trust.

SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR is no masterpiece. And I’m not saying that in a “ha ha, this is only a silly horror movie, it’s not supposed to win any Oscars so you can’t hold it to any standards at all” type of way. I’m saying that a movie called SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR really ought to be a masterpiece, and in this case is not. But I enjoyed watching them give it a shot. If this type if thing sounds good to you, it’s worth renting. If it doesn’t sound good to you, well, I’m a tolerant guy, I will forgive you for being such a bum out. But come on, people.

And since the concept is good I’m really hoping this will become a series.

Of course, I wanted that to happen with BONES too, but this one has a chance because it was much cheaper to make and easier to sequelize. This time let’s have more of the humorous gore, more of Devon, more of the crazy shit. Yes Snoop, we’re ready for some crazy shit.

Thanks, buds.
–Vern

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/31269

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 3:53 a.m. CST

    first

    by whatyoufear

    i’m tired

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 3:53 a.m. CST

    snoop dogg gotta eat

    by whatyoufear

    flames on too soon

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST

    DAMN YOU EAST LA

    by whatyoufear

    i mean michael bay

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Interesting

    by Ridge

    Well I sat through Tales from the Darkside so I suppose I can take this one in…

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 4:37 a.m. CST

    Weird

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I was just reading about this film on imdb due to my habit of skipping from one thing to another to another (in this case, Leprechaun 3 to Agent One Half to Hood Of Horror). Then, I take the bus over here to AICN, and Vern has reviewed the film in my absence! How’s that for service?
    I will defintitely watch this one now, partly because of this serendipity, but also because I have become addicted to silly cheap horrors. I blame the Leprechaun series for this. Have you seen any of the Leprechauns, Vern? Very funny stuff. Part 4 (Leprechaun In Space) is especially good.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 5:22 a.m. CST

    I’ll definitely check this out…

    by FilmCritic3000

    “The Last Supper” is a very underrated film. I always wondered what Stacy Title was up to since then (yet I couldn’t be bothered to check IMDb, I guess).

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 5:45 a.m. CST

    SO WHERE IS THE CAMERON INTERVIEW????????

    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    HUHUH? NO CAMERON INTERVIEW=TAINT ON OPTIMUS’S GOTTA TAKE A SHIT MASK

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:10 a.m. CST

    They’re making Creepshow 3!

    by Prague23

    http://www.upcominghorror movies.com/movies/creepshow3.php
    Link to 5 trailers of the 5 stories. Pretty funny as well.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:16 a.m. CST

    whatyoufear

    by seppukudkurosawa

    You really aren’t kidding- someone needs to put Snoopy on a drip STAT! He’s looking increasingly like a shrivelled egg-plant every single day. If he wants to keep making pr0n DVDs, then someone should tell him that his testes will dry up if he doesn’t eat some Dogg food as quickly as possible.

    </p>Oh…and nicely done Vern.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:16 a.m. CST

    whatyoufear

    by seppukudkurosawa

    You really aren’t kidding- someone needs to put Snoopy on a drip STAT! He’s looking increasingly like a shrivelled egg-plant every single day. If he wants to keep making pr0n DVDs, then someone should tell him that his testes will dry up if he doesn’t eat some Dogg food as quickly as possible.

    </p>Oh…and nicely done Vern.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Damn Parkinsons playing up again

    by seppukudkurosawa

    and making me double post.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:24 a.m. CST

    The horror is the fact that this got made!

    by MonkeyManReturns

    And whats with Snoop using the N-word all the time…calling demnons the N…didn’t that Kramer bloke prove that using the N-word isn’t funny…or is there a rule that only certain people can use it…I am confused….

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:41 a.m. CST

    this sounds awful…

    by Seph_J

    … the title alone sounds dreadful.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Justin Timberlake….

    by Kubla_Khan

    Is the white Snoop. Trust me, couple years and it’ll be JT presents the EVIL LATINA CUM GUZZLERS VS THE HAIRY ANAL RAMPAGE SQUAD. He’ll present, and watch. And he’ll be bringing sexy back.

    Vern…respect.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 7:14 a.m. CST

    sure Leprechaun in Space was good, but…

    by white owl

    more relevant to the story are the masterpiece theatre sequels Leprechaun in da Hood, and Leprechaun Back 2 Da Hood or some other ghetto shit. A guy gets killed by a bong! Glorious!

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 7:17 a.m. CST

    “those web advertisements with the annoying screaming”

    by triplefive

    god i hated those things so. or any ad that starts talking to me or making noises for that matter.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Vern : Forgot about Dre?

    by Pound Sand

    Other than Meth, are there other cinema shout-outs to Snoop’s various and sundry homies? (I am not counting Jason Alexander for obvious reasons: he’s British) This would seem like it could be a great cameo-fest.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    I need this DVD…

    by -guyinthebackrow

    … and I could also use R. Kelly’s promised sequel to “Trapped In The Closest”. Because, you see, I (not only) enjoy, but love pain.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:15 a.m. CST

    SNOOP DOG GOTTA EAT!

    by Mike_D

    I cant believe I just said that.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:29 a.m. CST

    I bet “Tales from the Hood” was better

    by Doctor_Sin

    It’s one of my FAVORITE films.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Oh, btw, we need more Horror-fest type reviews

    by Doctor_Sin

    And less Underdog – just sayin’.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:45 a.m. CST

    white owl

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Back 2 Da Hood is the only one I haven’t seen. Is it any good? Leprechaun In The Hood is my least favourite of the series, although it was worth it to see Ice-T in platforms and an afro wig. Also, Lep had hot zombie fly-girls in that one.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    sounds fun

    by thefreeagents

    call me crazy, but I like movies like this

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    SNOOP’S GOTTA PAY THE BILLS

    by jack-torrance

    “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU HEARD ABOUT ME/BUT A BITCH CAN’T GET A BLUNT UP OUT OF ME/ I DRIVE A CADILLAC/ WEAR A PERM CUZ I’M A G/ AND I’M A MUTHAFUCKIN C-R-I-P”

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    SNOOP’S GOTTA PAY THE BILLS

    by jack-torrance

    “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU HEARD ABOUT ME/BUT A BITCH CAN’T GET A BLUNT UP OUT OF ME/ I DRIVE A CADILLAC/ WEAR A PERM CUZ I’M A G/ AND I’M A MUTHAFUCKIN C-R-I-P”

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Tales from the Hood was pretty good

    by johnnyangelheart

    Props to an underrated Clarence Williams III as the host.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Repeat After Me: Hood of Shit

    by Read and Shut Up

    …seriously. You want to watch this? Go rent “Tales from the Hood,” a pretty great movie with Link from the Mod Squad and his scary eyes and gap-toothed grimace.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Danny Trejo is THE SHIT

    by DOGSOUP

    Seriously he ups the visibility of this one like 30%

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    I’ve had this for a while…

    by Alonzo Mosely

    but haven’t got around to watching it… Damn the endless piles of DVDs and the small amount of non-working time each day..

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    was much better than “Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun In The Hood,” for what that’s worth. The Leprechaun getting stoned, how can you go wrong?

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    DOLEMITE, MUTHAFUCKA!

    by buster00

    You know who I is.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Clarence WIlliams II was boss in “Tales from the Hood”

    by Doctor_Sin

    “Yes. The shit. You want the SHIT!?!?”

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 9:03 p.m. CST

    Ernie Hudson gotta eat: sequel to CONGO!!!!!

    by Bob Cryptonight

    I’m praying for it. It’s Mr. Hudson’s finest hour.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 10:58 p.m. CST

    World premiere was last october

    by LeviDTinker

    We had the Premiere for this at the chinese theatre(the chinese 6 not in the main theatre), as part of the screamfest filmfestival back in october of last year.

    It was pretty entertaining.

  • Jan. 17, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    OHH! You’ll get THE SHIT!

    by S-Mart shopper

  • Jan. 18, 2007, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Daddylonghead

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I have just placed an order for an imported copy of Back 2 Tha Hood (it’s not out here in England for some reason). If it stinks, I will of course be dispatching an army of flying monkeys to reclaim my massive outlay of £4.75 from you personally. ;)

  • Jan. 18, 2007, 4:07 a.m. CST

    You’ll be KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT!

    by oh_riginal

    “Snoop Dogg Presents… a Mel Gibson Film… AVP3: Busey Vs Nolte! Hey, even they gotta eat.”

  • Jan. 18, 2007, 4:24 a.m. CST

    KielerKai

    by Vern

    You couldn’t care less, huh? Actually, you could care so little you didn’t click on a review of the movie and then post a talkback about it. That would technically be caring less. Right this second you are caring more about SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR than the vast majority of people on the planet, who are not here discussing it. Snoop has you right where he wants you. In a sense, you are in his Hood of Horror as we speak. And you know what, they can take you out of the Hood of Horror but they can’t take the Hood of Horror out of you. You’re forever marked by Snoop.

    Sorry bud. The truth hurts.

  • Jan. 18, 2007, 5:06 a.m. CST

    Whatever happened to Rusty Cundieff?

    by DirkD13″

    Fear Of A Black Hat was the shit yo.

  • Jan. 18, 2007, 5:58 a.m. CST

    “People who like this sort of thing…

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    …will find this the sort of thing they like.”

  • Feb. 20, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Hood od Horror

    by chris_thompson537

    Me and my buddy saw this at the horror festival, and it was awesome! Can’t wait to see it again!

  • Feb. 22, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Snoop Dog is the Shisnit!

    by Traci555

    If you haven’t seen it yet, you have to! I love this movie!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 at 4:41 am and is filed under AICN, Comedy/Laffs, Horror, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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