Archive for the ‘Blog Post (short for weblog)’ Category

Fury Road teaser

Thursday, December 11th, 2014

In 2015 there’s gonna be a new STAR WARS picture, a new BATMAN LOVES SUPERMAN picture, I believe an AVENGERS PART 2, a CAPTAIN AMERICA PART 3, a new TERMINATOR, a new HUNGER GAMES MOCKINGJAY,  a new MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, a new FANTASTIC FOUR, probly a couple Spidermans and X-Mans, JURASSIC WORLD, E.T. SPRING BREAK, and many other big movies. All of them stacked up on top of each other won’t reach the knee pads of my man Mad Max Fury Rockatansky II.

(I didn’t include FURIOUS 7 or JUPITER ASCENDING in that list because they might tip the scales)

This seems like a trailer too big for Imax and here I am watching it on my computer. But I couldn’t ignore it, it had to be acknowledged here. All hail George Miller. (read the rest of this shit…)

Capitalism update

Monday, December 1st, 2014

Does this Amazon UK search engine show up for you guys? It seems to on my end. It doesn’t work when I add it to the other post but seemingly does on this separate one.

That trailer everyone is excited about

Friday, November 28th, 2014

c-htAll over the internet there is only ONE thing anyone is talking about, this highly anticipated trailer. I’m sure you’ve already watched it over and over again and dissected it, but if not here it is. There is alot of mystery around this, it’s alot to live up to to try to continue the saga with a different director, but I for one am excited to see what they’ve come up with.

h/t Mike Leeder

Just putting this out there

Friday, November 28th, 2014

First of all, thank you all for reading and participating here, you are the best and this has been a really great year.

Second, this is a polite nudge to remind everybody that IF you participate in capitalism AND you use the “Amazon” type electronical service to do some of it, then you could really help me out by using my links. You pay the same amount you were going to anyway but those slick suckers slice off a little tiny piece of the pie and send it my way. So let’s say you are doing some Christmas shopping, or ordering a TV, or pants, or hundreds of dollars worth of office supplies for your work. Might as well give me a cut, right?

If you refuse to do it I will still like you but come on man help a guy out.

Anyway, thanks again everybody. Hope everybody got some sweet potatoes.

For some reason the Amazon UK search engines are not working on my page anymore. But until I figure that out if you click on one of these titles and then search for your item hopefully it works.

The news today

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

I feel like I can’t just post more of my usual dumb movie reviews without first acknowledging the huge cloud of bummer hanging over the country today. But also I have no words, and I don’t even really want to discuss it. We all know it sucks, and if you don’t know it sucks please don’t come here and tell me about it because nobody deserves to hear from your dumb ass today. Show some respect.

I want to say something like “Let’s all just pledge to do what we can to make things better,” but I have no idea how we would do that. I think back to 20 years ago and the Rodney King verdict. Seems like the only thing that’s changed is that it happens so often that we saw this one coming. And also those guys didn’t kill him and at least had to go on trial.

But I’m not going to get into it. Instead I will turn, as I often do, to Stevie. He knows how to turn anger into something beautiful.

Some nerd shit for you here

Monday, November 24th, 2014

starwarshereticWarning: I’m about to dive deep into the Nerd Shit. It could be upsetting to nerdiness sensitive readers. This is to be read by serious Star Wars people only. Unfortunately they aren’t gonna like what I have to say either. Sorry everyone.

Sometimes you get together with some friends, one thing leads to another, you end up watching THE PHANTOM MENACE on blu-ray again… you know how it is. All the sudden you get a late night notion about the Star Warses that you decide needs to be said because you know for god damn sure nobody else is gonna say it. And that’s what I’ve decided to do here.

I’m afraid this is not me playing devil’s advocate. This is my sincere opinion. And I swear it, friends, I’m not trying to be a contrarian, I’m not trying to get attention. I’m just being honest. To prove it I didn’t give this post the “wh-wh-WHUT!?” spit take click bait headline it could have: Why Hayden Christensen Should Be In Episode VII, But They Don’t Have the Balls To Do It. Don’t go spreading it around, but that is my thesis.

Hear me out, fellas. I’m gonna lay out my argument below, and you can do as thou wilt.
(read the rest of this shit…)

Time Out’s 100 Best Action Movies

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

tn_36thchamberWell, I’ve never been asked to be on a film festival jury (and I’ve been twice-rejected from being on a real jury) but I’m honored that Time Out New York asked me to be one of the voters for their 100 Best Action Movies list in the “Film critics and experts” section. I believe I am an expert.

As with all lists like this there’s no way to read it without noticing what you think should be on there that’s not. Personally I can’t help but note that there’s not a single Steven Seagal*, Jean-Claude Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren film on there. Is there any Charles Bronson? There’s a couple Clints. I’m okay with no Chuck Norris. Stallone and Schwarzenegger get their due, and most of us can get behind the obvious choice for #1. It’s got some westerns, some samurai, lots of martial arts. But the b-action gets the shaft. (And blaxploitation, come to think of it.)

*except for MACHETE (read the rest of this shit…)

Furious 7 trailer

Saturday, November 1st, 2014

Notes:

1. I think we can all agree, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I cannot find Lucas Black anywhere in this trailer
3. There is a little bit of Tony Jaa though (he’s in that bus they attack)
4. The careful editing of dialogue over Paul Walker shots is moving without being tacky, in my opinion
5. I don’t know who that lady is but I like how she seems to be a normal person not familiar with the rules of the Furiousverse so she just flops onto the hood of the car and screams

Analysis: “A Nightmare On My Street” vs. “Are You Ready For Freddy”

Friday, October 31st, 2014

tn_freddysongsspecialpresentationOh shit you guys, did you notice it’s Halloween already? I feel like the season is just getting started, though. Next week I’m gonna have more horror reviews for you, plus other stuff.

But today instead of another review I thought I should do something different, a Halloween special if you will. Something great and beautiful and timeless that really captures the traditions and atmosphere and feelings of the holiday, like It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, the world’s only animated tribute to sincerity. Good cartoon in my opinion. I should totally do something like that if I’m up to it. Or maybe I could write about the Freddy Krueger rapping, that might be something more appropriate to my level of expertise. I guess I’ll do the second one.

In the late 1980s, a period when horror sequels were a major part of pop culture, there were two songs by popular rap acts that were inspired by the A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET saga. Let’s take a look at them both.
(read the rest of this shit…)

Skin Trade trailer

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

This is not just the latest Dolph Lundgren picture, this is the passion project he’s been trying to make for years. He co-wrote the screenplay (IMDb says John Hyams did a rewrite), and originally planned to direct, but instead gave it to Ekachai Uekrongtham, who is best known for BEAUTIFUL BOXER.

c-htAt one point there were rumors that Seagal was going to co-star with Lundgren. Instead we ended up with the more acrobatic all-star team-up of Dolph and Tony Jaa (in his first English role). As you can see, Michael Jai White is also there in a supporting role, along with Peter Weller and Ron Perlman as the skin trader. According to IMDb we should also look out for Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa and Conan Stevens. The second unit director/action and stunt choreographer is Dian Hristov was Dolph’s stunt double in THE EXPENDABLES 3 and ONE IN THE CHAMBER. He’s also been Seagal’s double through most of the DTV era.

Anyway, looks good to me.