Archive for the ‘Blog Post (short for weblog)’ Category

Vern’s Valentine’s Day Special. One night only.

Monday, February 13th, 2012

tn_bridgesofI have already officially over-celebrated this holiday that I don’t even believe in, but I have this CLINT EASTWOOD: 35 FILMS DVD box set and it happens to have the movie THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY in it and I can think of nothing better to do tomorrow night than eat a sandwich and watch it for the first time with my friends, The Internet.

So tomorrow night, Tuesday February 14th, at approximately 8 pm West Coast time (depending on how fast I get home from work) I will be watching the movie and “live tweeting” it using the “Twitter” websight. I have set up a new account called @OutlawVernLive so don’t worry, I won’t be flooding your screen with my comments unless you “follow” that specific “twitter” using your computer machine. Also I cannot guarantee I will have anything worthwhile to say, or that I will not just be sobbing the whole time.

Sorry for the short notice, but if you also have this box set I trust your loved one will understand that you are cancelling the reservations and the 2-3 of you will be having the most romantic evening of all time with Clint, Meryl, one or more bridges, The Internet, and yours truly. (in a non-sexual way)


Nerd Shit Special Edition: Phantom Menace 3D

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

tn_pm3dI went and saw a revival movie at the local cinema, it’s called STAR WARS EPISODE I: DARTH MAUL (formerly The Phantom Menace) 3D. I’m not sure if you guys are familar with that movie from the dvd and blu-ray, but check it out, you’d probly like it. Anyway they have it re-released in theaters in 3D.

The reason I bring it up is because I think this is more proof of the wrong-headedness of modern 3D. Not because it’s 3D, as is the conventional wisdom, but because it’s not 3D enough. This is a special case because obviously it’s not a movie shot in 3D, it’s one of these postconversions that I decided to stop seeing, but (like TITANIC) it’s one that they spent more time and money on and it was done by technicians who seem to give a shit, so I was hoping it would be done well. (read the rest of this shit…)

99 Problems but the Super Bowl ad for GI JOE RETALIATION ain’t one

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

tn_gijoe2BruceOkay, I apologize for posting about a TV commercial for a sequel to a(n enjoyably) shitty movie based on a toy. But I saw this new commercial for GI JOE: RETALIATION and I had to watch it a bunch of times in a row. I really think STEP UP 2-3’s Jon M. Chu is gonna pan out as a director of silly action movies, and that gives me some hope for the future of action filmatism. (read the rest of this shit…)

Potpourri’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

Sunday, January 29th, 2012

tn_freddysdeadDon’t worry everybody, the Spielberg series is gonna finish, I’m just taking the time to get the reviews right before I post them. I also got some other reviews of recent home video releases in the works including one of the most interesting horror movies I’ve seen in a while. So stay tuned to this websight, or better yet keep reloading it from different computers to raise my unique hits count.

Back to you, Paula.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Monday, January 16th, 2012

tn_MLKToday in the U.S. we celebrate a national holiday for our great hero of the civil rights movement and pacifism, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Of course, like most holidays, only about a third of employers give their workers a day off, so (ironically considering Dr. King’s activism) the working poor get kinda screwed.

Still, I like that there’s a holiday, and in its honor I want to present to you a couple clips related to the holiday’s greatest contributions to pop culture.

(read the rest of this shit…)

Programming note

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

tn_civictvBE ADVISED: The Spielberg series will resume by early next week with EMPIRE OF THE SUN. Before that I want to catch up with reviews of a few new DVD releases and one current theatrical release.

2011: The Year That Was 2011

Monday, January 2nd, 2012
oh shit, 2012 is coming!

oh shit, 2012!

Happy New Year’s Day Observed everybody. I hope you are able to observe the New Year today.

Everybody seems to be sharing their end of the year favorites list, so I decided to join in, and threw this hodgepodge together. As a rule I don’t do end of the year lists, but I hate all rules so this year I’m doing one. Take that, The System. (read the rest of this shit…)

Happy 2012

Sunday, January 1st, 2012

leemarvintoastHey everybody, please join Mr. Marvin in a toast to a fresh new year of badass cinema, outlaw criticism, mega-acting theory, fight brotherhood, badass juxtaposition, Seagalogy available for Kindle if you’re into that although I gotta question it but never mind no judgment this is a new year, appreciation of the finer things in life, appreciation of the shittier things in life, maybe a couple Dolph Lundgren movies, steady cameras, Gina Carano on the big screen, Tony Jaa and Jija Yanin in 3D, Tarantino vs. our nation’s racist past, getting along, following our dreams, accomplishing shit, relaxing sometimes, feeding the hungry, ending the wars, a baby panda in every home (not as meat).

Thank you all for your continued support, I got lots of ideas for next year and I hope we’ll have fun and learn shit and become rich and build a huge statue of Dirty Harry foiling a bank robbery while eating a hot dog.

Also a tip of the hat to our ancient Mayan brothers for their foresight in fucking our shit up with that funny calendar trick


Let’s overanalyze the EXPENDABLES 2 teaser

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

tn_ex2BruceBy now most of us have seen the teaser for next summer’s EXPENDABLES 2, directed by Simon “the remake of THE MECHANIC was okay at least although the action scenes sucked” West. Of course it’s a teaser, it doesn’t show much, and it’s a movie that most of us feel guilty for having any glimmer of hope that it might be good. But those are not good enough reasons to stop my from going through it pretty much shot-by-shot so we can discuss it. Sorry.

(read the rest of this shit…)

Seagal + Stone Cold Steve Austin = MAXIMUM CONVICTION

Saturday, December 17th, 2011

tn_keeperJust when I was thinking Seagal didn’t have any movies in the can this article on Heat Vision informs us that Anchor Bay has purchased the rights to MAXIMUM CONVICTION, a movie where Seagal is one of two security contractors hired to decommission an old prison that comes under attack by mercenaries. So, HALF PAST DEAD in an empty prison? The good news is that for the first time this will team Seagal with WWE Superstar™ Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which is a huge upgrade from Ja Rule. (read the rest of this shit…)