Splice

tn_spliceSPLICE is a monster movie by Vincenzo Natali, the guy who did CUBE all those years ago. Remember that one? Really good concept, pretty good execution, but you really want to like it so it gets by. Same thing here.

Academy Award winner Adrien Brody and Academy Award nominee Sarah Polley play a married (?) team of scientists working to harvest useful proteins from a new species they’ve genetically engineered. They got two of them named Fred and Ginger (get it? They’re named after Fred Flinstone and Ginger Baker), two dog-sized lumps of CGI flesh shaped kind of like maggots but mostly like dicks.

I like how casually the movie introduces these dick monsters, but I gotta say, enough with the phalluses, fellas. Yeah, Mr. Giger did well with a penis-shaped head on his Alien, the idea I guess being that a subliminal genital look will make you uncomfortable (or make you buy Camel cigarettes). But that was more than 30 years ago. In my opinion the “shaped like a dick” train left the station a long time ago. It’s limp and unimpressive now. I think it’s supposed to be disturbing, but it just seems kind of gay. And this is 2010. Gays are our friends, they’re not scary.

By the way, Brody and Polley’s characters are named Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast (get it? They’re named after Clive Owen and Ilsa: She-Wolf of the S.S.). After the boss short-sightedly shuts down Clive and Elsa’s project they rebelliously decide to do an off-the-books experiment splicing animal and human DNA, just to prove to themselves that they can do it. They don’t actually do this as part of a deliberate plan – Elsa runs in giggling and locks the door before she fertilizes the embryo. Mad science meets tickle fight.

mp_spliceThen they keep taking things farther than planned. They don’t intend to bring it to term, but it grows so fast it takes them by surprise. So they have the thing there, they think well, it’s not gonna live very long, we might as well keep it around, study its life cycle. Next thing you know it’s their daughter, Elsa’s giving it Barbie dolls and putting makeup on it. She names it “Dren” because that’s “nerd” backwards. I don’t get it either. Sometimes I think it’s supposed to be really quirky, but I can’t quite translate it. Maybe Canadian quirk is different, like how they spell it “colour” instead of “color.”

Anyway, Dren is born looking like (what else?) a penis, but grows into a humanoid girl with a circumcision scar on her bald head. She has big eyes spread out too far on her head, she has legs like a goat and a tail with a stinger and other things most girls don’t come equipped with. The effects are real good – not always looking real, but always looking cool. We see her at many different stages and ages including facehugger, toddler, little girl and grown woman trying to look attractive (Delphine Chaneac). She has some funny flashes of character, like a scene where she runs off and eats a live rabbit, turns around and smiles stupidly with its blood all over her face.

There’s something a little off about the movie, maybe it’s the way it portrays these scientists as sort of irreverent ex-punks who wear cool t-shirts and have military patches on their lab coats. For alot of the movie they don’t really take it seriously, which somehow cuts down on the amount of dread I think. But there are outrageous touches here and there that won me over. I like the scene where they reveal Fred and Ginger to the scientific community at large. It’s not ED-209 disastrous, but pretty fuckin bad. Not only do those penises turn savage and kill each other, but their tank falls over and an explosion of glass shards and monster blood pelts the front couple rows in the face. They weren’t ready for this, they didn’t know it was gonna be a Gallagher show.

And the craziest thing that happens – I’m just gonna come out and say it, so this is a big fuckin SPOILER: Adrien Brody fucks the monster. It makes a pass at him and he pushes it away, does the whole “We can’d do this, this is wrong” routine, then just gives in and goes for it 110%. I mean, there is some passion here. Goin at it like the rabbits she eats.

You know, it’s like that Clive Barker thing, the idea that all guys wanna stick their dicks in a monster. But this is way worse than boning the porcupine lady in NIGHTBREED, this is that combined with Woody Allen and his stepdaughter. Shit, worse than that even. Maybe it’s not his DNA, but he conceived her – he and his lady came up with the idea, they combined the DNA, they made her. He’s playing God and playing dad and now he’s fuckin her? It’s gross because she’s a monster, and because he’s her dad, and because he’s in a long term relationship, and mostly because this girl doesn’t talk, she just makes chipmunk noises. I mean come on, man.

The potential of cloning humans brings up so many ethical quandaries. Is it our place to artificially create human life? How do we know we won’t fuck it up and create some kind of new disease, or create unhealthy beings that live a life of pain? Is a cloned human equal to a born human, or because we created it is it lesser, is it our property? Is it as bad to kill a clone as a human? Since we created it do we have the right to alter it, like when Elsa tries to remove Dren’s stinger?

There are so many questions to consider, but Clive mostly considers “what are the best positions to fuck your monster daughter in?” It’s so damn wrong, so I love that the movie isn’t timid about it. It doesn’t fade out. It’s pretty graphic. She mounts him and sprouts wings! The one thing missing is a couple hundred candles dripping all around, like it’s supposed to be real sexy, that would be good. Maybe dripping some wax on each other, or twisting a wet towel. Or the ice cube thing from DO THE RIGHT THING. Or the pottery from GHOST. They fuck on the floor which I guess is passionate but it would be funny if at the end of the scene they did that movie thing where she’s laying in bed with the blanket tucked under her arms perfectly covering her breasts.

The thing that’s crazier than Academy Award winner Adrien Brody fuckin a monster is the way the movie treats him afterwards. Yeah, there’s some good shame when his girl catches him monsterfucking. He doesn’t know she saved him from being stung to death, but if he knew he’d probly wish she hadn’t. But after a few scenes with his head hung low they stop making a big deal about it. It still treats him as a reasonable, sympathetic protagonist, not an over the edge nutball. It’s like ah, come on. You’d fuck your monster daughter too. Don’t front.

Actually the DVD cover makes it sound like Peter Travers would fuck his monster daughter. It says “A potent and provocative thriller. Sexy and scary in equal doses!” How else can you interpret the “sexy” part? That’s gotta mean he wants to fuck his monster daughter, right? You’re creepin me out, Travers. But it’s rare that a quote whore blurb unintentionally offers a peak into the writer’s dark sexual fantasies. So in a way he’s advancing the artform of film criticism with this breakthrough.

Nah, I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just saying that it’s not at all scary, and therefore not at all sexy.

SPLICE doesn’t entirely work. It’s just too undisciplined to be the kind of deeply unsettling but darkly hilarious tale that it oughta be. Still, I can’t write off a movie with a monster this cool and with a pretty good sized craziness streak. I thought treating Clive’s behavior like it’s not that out of line was so out of line that I kind of respected the movie and its cinematic balls. But come to think of it I would’ve liked it better if Clive turned all Humbert Humbert at that point. He crazily declares his love for Dren and tries to run off with her and marry her. “You don’t understand! I love her!” he cries, clutching her hand possessively, and she’s hunched over chattering like a squirrel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 6th, 2010 at 2:51 am and is filed under Horror, Monster, Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

66 Responses to “Splice”

  1. caruso_stalker217

    October 6th, 2010 at 3:01 am

    Adrien Brody + monster-fucking = me seeing this, eventually.

  2. It was on my list anyway, because I’m a shameless Natali fanboy. (I highly recommend you NOTHING, his completely absurd high concept comedy about two friends who are stuck in a great, white nothing.)

  3. Me and my friend were watching this and we kept saying “if Cronenberg had made this, she’d sprout like a giant rubber dick and there’d be long drawn out shots of the rubber dick grabbing stuff like a tentacle and stuff and you’d get really uncomfortable…”

    So we were quite impressed when Cronenbergian levels of boundary-crossing and wrongness did indeed begin to manifest.

    Did anyone else think Brody and Polley were supposed to be loathsome shallow hipsters? Or do I just really hate hipsters?

    Are we supposed to think Polley kinda almost deserves it and feel an downright unsettling sense of closure when THE OTHER BIG SPOILER THAT VERN AMAZINGLY DIDNT SPOIL happens? I mean normally when a SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER scene happens in a movie you want to go have a shower or something, but this one was like “you see what happens, annoying hipster lady with abuse issues?”. These aren’t pleasant things to hear yourself thinking, so the film gets definite points for boundary-crossing. Much needed points because most of the rest of the time it’s “Species”.

    As for the fucking your daughter thing – she’s also a clone of his wife, and fucking your wife is ok, so i think the film is saying you shouldn’t create creatures that blur the line between wife and daughter because LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. they may also be implying some heavy duty genetic super pheromones i dunno.

  4. - vern

    Have you seen POSSESSION with Sam Neill and Isabella Adjani? One of my favorite arthouse-horror-movies. Or.. I dunno.. Maybe not actually horror, but more Scenes From A Marriage with monsterfucking, clones, selfmutilation, psychosis, cold-war espionage and..

    Nah, don`t wanna spoil it. It`s a great movie.

  5. Uh, Anaru, are you basically saying that she was asking for it? Because, well, what the fuck is wrong with you?

  6. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 6th, 2010 at 4:50 am

    So the people who want to fuck monsters, presumably jerk off at the Star Wars cantina scene or the troll market in Hellboy?

  7. The artist formerly known as AU_Armageddon

    October 6th, 2010 at 5:31 am

    All week you have reviewed something I watched within a few hours prior – all better than expected surprise films too. I’m hoping that means you will be releasing a review of The Wild Hunt tommorrow – much better than expected clever indie drama/horror set in the curious world of LARPing.

    This review makes you sound like a fag. Dick, dick, dick, dick all the way through where at first I was laughin with you and then I wasn’t sure. Maybe that’s the Andy Kaufman in you at play. Seriously though, what’s with use gay as a derogatory. That’s the second time two months – what are you, some kind of homophobe? You need to lighten up on the queers.

    There were a few times I thought this movie was funded by the christian right – the staged reckless stupidity of the scientists with the clear demarcation of each boundary they crossed had almost an agenda subtext to it. It’s not, but almost.

    I thought of Woody Allen too and then dismissed it too – not just worse, but after some time thinking through every movie the worst thing I could think of was Spanking The Monkey – so kudos to Splice for finally dethroning Spanking the Monkey after 15 years of holding the title for worst stupid guilty moment ever played on screen. Brilliant stuff.

    And yes, Unaru just said that she had it coming, and he enjoyed it. He didn’t mention that after watching he and his friend were so pumped they hit the town and bashed some queers. Lucky for Vern, he was at home having a phallic seizure watching Dune.

    Good review, ta.

  8. The original Paul

    October 6th, 2010 at 5:44 am

    I don’t think this one was out in cinemas over here, otherwise I would’ve seen it. Will definitely catch it though. I thought “Cube” was a flawed work of genius.

  9. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 6th, 2010 at 5:52 am

    Is Dern altered with cgi, or did they find a chick with salmon eyes to play the thing?

  10. it’s actually a pretty good arthouse horror flick. too bad about adrien brody though, he pretty much ruin every movie he’s in……

  11. Joe Camel, Joanie Cunningham, and best evaluation of a box blurb ever. Hats off.

    Splice was on the borderline for okaydom for me but the ending dropped the ball on the wrong side of the fence. For all the transgression it tries, the whole movie foreshadows like mad, basically holding your hand; they should have learned from Cronenberg that freaky stuff is more disconcerting when it’s not overexplained (or even telegraphed.) Did like watching the rockstar geneticists waffle all over the place about how to treat their science project/offspring.

  12. Vern, I haven’t seen this movie yet, but one of the reviewers on the website I write for did a review when this was first screening and the producer, Don ‘Taco Fart’ Murphy came on to our small little site and started berating us for being ‘retarded’ and ‘lower than him’. He was a real class act piece of shit.

  13. Splice. I like the monster, and the couple in crisis stuff, but the anti-science discourse is revolting.

  14. Possession is a great horror movie. Very VERY disturbing cinema. Adjani so sexy and scary in that movie.

  15. Jareth Cutestory

    October 6th, 2010 at 7:37 am

    AU Armageddon: I know that a dude like you wouldn’t be bothered in the least if suddenly three quarters of the world started using the words “Australian” and “retarded pumpkin fuckers” interchangably, and if Freddie Phelps held naked limbo parties at the funeral of every Aussie, but you have to consider that not everyone is as highly evolved as you; sometimes they get upset by words that constantly refer to them in an insulting way.

  16. I thought it was mostly good. Not really a horror film, as there isn’t that many horror moments in there. More like meditation on blurring and pushing the boundaries of accepted sexuality and all the creepiness and revulsion that comes with it. A weird cerebral Cronenberg-esque sci-fi film more than a straight up horror flick.

    Unfortunately, when the film *does* go for the straight up horror flick territory, it kind of falls apart. The last act devolves into a cheap, bog standard peek-a-boo slasher film. Although the final ending with the implications of all the ensuing wrongness manages to save a lot.

    Definitely worth checking out at least once. There are some great and very interesting bits in there, even if the film as a whole doesn’t manage to rise up to any sort of greatness. And yeah, the presentation scene is terrific.

  17. The artist formerly known as AU_Armageddon

    October 6th, 2010 at 7:54 am

    Whether it’s that AU_Armageddon is too smart, or whether it is merely that you are too dumb, these things are quite debatable and not my field. However I can only speak for The artist formerly known as AU_Armageddon, and The artist formerly known as AU_Armageddon agrees with you. It’s okay for you to be gay JC. I know Vern keeps labelling dodgy limp and unimpressive stuff as kind of gay, but he’s prolly just trying to get a rise out of you people. A sort of fuck you Jack. Best just turn the other cheek I say. Blessed are the meek and all that.

    By the way, I dun know why you keep picking on Freddie Phelps. This is the 2nd time you bagged on him. I thought he was great in Poltergeist. I think maybe you are ageist.

  18. Isn’t the Dren/Nerd thing because the company in the movie’s name is an acronym that spells NERD? And what’s quirky about spelling colour with a u? That’s how it’s SPELLED! If that’s quirky, then you americans are lazy for not wanting to spell all the letters.

  19. SPLICE got a lot of derisive laughter from the audience when I saw it, and a lot of people were vocally expressing how bad they though it was when leaving the theater. Which kinda ticked me off because I felt like the movie was trying to be funny and audacious; those people were laughing WITH the movie, but thought they were laughing AT it. Oh well.

    One major disappointment I had with SPLICE, where I feel they really dropped the ball in terms of potential for button-pushing weirdness, was SPOILERS HERE PEOPLE at the end, when Dren turns into a man and rapes Sarah Polley. That it happens isn’t my problem; my problem is that they have Dren played by a different, male actor for that sequence. Am I crazy in thinking it would have been way more awesomely messed up if Dren had still been the female actress, only now with a penis? That would have been some creepy shit that I wouldn’t have been able to shake for a few days. By changing the actors, it not only makes Dren feel like a totally different character, but ruins the unnerving idea of her fluid sexuality.

  20. There’s nothing wrong with fucking a monster, if it wants you to fuck it. It’s just gross to people that wouldn’t, like taking it up the ass or sucking a dick. Not everyone can get a Deadgirl, you know.

  21. the monster daughter had the wife DNA so clearly he was totally justified in hitting that.

  22. Stu – I’m saying maybe quirkiness in Canada is slightly different than quirkiness in the U.S., like spelling is.

    Dan – I agree, it’s clearly intentional. And it’s frustrating to have that type of audience disagreement. I always remember after Bully hearing the group in the theater who laughed at all the same parts as I did talking about how horrible it was. We agreed it was hilarious but they thought it was an accident and I didn’t.

  23. I saw SPLICE with my brother, who was wearing a Nilbog t-shirt at the time, and some dude we didn’t know actually walked up to us after the movie and said “That movie was worthy of TROLL 2,” and gave us this really self-satisfied grin. We just kind of shrugged him off, because we both enjoyed SPLICE and didn’t really feel like getting into a debate with some random passerby.

  24. Vern, no comments about John McTiernan going to jail?

  25. SPOILERS for SPLICE

    I though this thing was full of great, creepy ideas, including some genuinely unique subtext which is really worth mulling over. Unfortunately, Natali seems completely unable to hint or suggest — ie, it’s less interesting to think that maybe Sarah Polly is dealing with her own painful childhood through Dren when the movie just comes out and tells you that she is. As much as I love that the movie just goes for the sex scene, I think it ends up being less creepy to actually see it than if they just suggested the desire. I think Natali’s making a deliberate effort to push the boundaries and not go for typical Hollywood chicken bullshit (ie Vern’s covers-up-to-the-armpits) but unfortunately the rest of the movie doesn’t feel very realistic either, especially in terms of the characters and their dialogue, so it ends up feeling outrageous rather than truthful, and the whole thing feels a little cheap. Still pretty ballsy and original, though.

  26. Seeing Splice in a theater was a special experience. The audience (about 2/3 full on opening night) went wild during the sex scene. Several shouted “Oh no he DIDN’T!” or “Get it girl!”. Then during the rape scene people actually screamed. I don’t know if it was in disbelief or horror, but I’ve never heard actual screaming in the theater in my thirty years of theater-going. That’s not counting the nervous laughter that was prevalent throughout the film. My favorite part of the night was seeing a slew of old women in walkers and wheelchairs discussing the film. I over heard one say “That was NASTY! I think we should see it again next week.” Easily one of my favorite films of the year.

  27. Did you know that some foreign translations of Splice called it Poison Tailed Hand Foot Wife Daughter? Awesome.

    Great review, Vern. Love your interpretation of Clive/Elsa. I agree, it may not be perfect but I don’t think we can complain it didn’t go far enough. It went where any movie on this subject should go but most probably wouldn’t. And of course mainstream audiences wouldn’t get it, but it now exists forever and ever.

  28. Dan P: I think I read somewhere that it actually is the same actress playing male Dren, just with different makeup. Don’t know if that’s true but either way I agree it should have been more recognizably the same actress. Being raped by a female human-animal hybrid creature with a penis is MUCH more disturbing than being raped by a male human-animal hybrid creature.

    Did I just type that sentence? Yes, I did.

    SPLICE wins because we had a conversation that led to me typing that sentence.

  29. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 6th, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    How many people out there want to sleep with monsters? this is getting strange.

  30. SPOILERS

    Daniel Strange,

    Good job on that sentence. Personally, I have trouble believing it was the same actor. I haven’t seen SPLICE since it was out in theaters, but I pretty clearly recall that not only does Dren suddenly have a completely different face during the finale, but a well-toned masculine body to boot. I have trouble reconciling changes like that, though. Maybe it’s a personal failing. Every live-action incarnation of the Incredible Hulk does the same thing to me; I have difficulty accepting the actor playing Bruce Banner and the special effects playing Hulk as the same person.

    Subtlety,

    I dig your point, but exactly how realistic can a movie about a gender-switching, humanoid-monster be? Going in, I expected the movie to have a more serious tone than it did, but thinking back on it I suspect that, whatever its many other failings are, the audacity was probably the right way to go. The premise is just maybe a little too inherently silly, I’m not sure how much real tension they could have milked from it.

  31. Also, Fred, your little anecdote at the beginning of your OWL 300 review is classic. I make that same stupid joke to my girlfriend every time we see a 3D movie, and I think she’s really fucking sick of it at this point.

  32. Thanks, Dan. I hope I take it to the next level by knowing that I’m making the joke in real life so that people will not find it funny so I can write about it in my review published online. :)

  33. Hmmm. Maybe.

  34. Dan- I dunno, I go back and forth. I guess I feel like the concepts are creepy enough that I’d be willing to suspend my disbelief a little if they played it scary enough. It works fine as a kind of outrageous dark sci-fi comedy, but I feel like Natali wants it to feel disturbing and perverse, which doesn’t quite happen the way it plays out, IMHO. It’s just too broad and stagey for me to get as creeped out as I felt like I wanted to be. Its not like its a disaster or anything, I just admired its imagination and audacity so much I wanted it to kind of add up to something more than it did. I’m glad I saw it and I applaud the effort, but at the same time I’d be really interested in seeing it remade by a director who could get a more natural, real-world vibe and let the subtext speak for itself.

  35. I was kinda of hoping for a joke at the end when SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERYSTUFF Dren stabs Adrien Brody, but now his/her killer tail only shoots jizz so everything is just really awkward before he/she dies.

  36. Eddie Lummox – you managed to read “These aren’t pleasant things to hear yourself thinking” and get “bitch was asking for it” out of that. So yeah, good work there guy.

  37. For the reading-comprehension challenged, or those who just have to have someone in a comments thread to feel morally superior to, let me restate my read on the rape scene…

    In a horror movie such as this, that is set up as a cautionary tale, you have a protagonist whose fuck up has caused the bad situation in the first place. In such films, it’s part of the standard resolution to have the protagonist lose their lover, get an arm chopped off, get a foot dissolved by fly puke, whatever, as an externalisation of the internal lesson they have learned.

    So in the rape scene in Splice, you have a conflict. The part of your brain that wants a horror storyline to resolve according to standard forms is going “yesss”, whereas the part of your brain that respects basic decency is going “nooooo”. This is I believe an intentional conflict on the part of the filmmakers.

    So yeah, if you still want to read that and get DERP DERP U LIEK RAEP out if it then good on you I guess.

  38. Hey, Anaru, suck my cock.

  39. Additionally, don’t give me this backtracking crap. You said exactly what you said, that in this situation you consider a character’s brutal rape to be the satisfying conclusion of the story.

    Regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you to basically celebrate the rape of character, you are still celebrating the rape of a character. Dude, admit it. That’s fucked up.

    You seem to think that your reaction is a perfectly common and natural one, but you’re going to need to back that up with some links or something because that doesn’t really sound right to me.

  40. Thanks for telling me what I think, jerkbag, but sadly for you I know what I think and funnily enough you don’t.

    Should I maybe tell you some shit about what you think? How did you feel that time you felt up that old lady at the mall? Admit it, you enjoyed it, didn’t you? Oh wait – I’m making shit up because I don’t even know you? How’s that feel huh?

    It would be nice to assume a certain level of intelligence and maturity on the part of my fellow commenters, to take obvious shit like “rape is bad” as read and have a frank and open discussion about how a film tries to guide the viewer’s interpretation of rape without having to worry about some ignorant, self righteous cretin who doesn’t understand things like “context” and “obviousness” try to swiftboat me into having a pro rape position.

    You can’t tell the difference between a notion popping into a person’s head because a filmmaker wants that notion to pop into their head, and the person being cool with that notion? I like it just because I thought about it once while watching an explicit portrayal of it? What are you, Catholic?

    Enjoy the rest of your life pumping gas and judging people you don’t know for imaginary faults.

  41. Come on fellas, we’re Harvard gentlemen.

    I think Anaru did explain himself well, he did say it was fucked up and that the movie asks you to have those fucked up thoughts. I didn’t see it quite that way while watching it but I buy what he’s saying, I think it’s a legitimate point, and he’s getting angry because he’s not a sicko, he understands that it’s a terrible thing to be accused of enjoying a rape.

    But both of you are violating the “don’t be a dick” rule of commenting here, so let’s chill with the telling each other to suck our cocks and you work at a gas station and you don’t know how to read and all that shit.

  42. “Inside…” “You.”

    Creepiest line I’ve heard at the movies all year.

  43. Nope, sorry Dan my man. Me and the rest of those folks were most definately laughing AT it. I found the scene in question to be the point at which what had so far been a decently captivating if not terribly deep tale, completely deflated itself and tossed away all its intellectual cred. See, I’ve never really bought into the “tongue in cheek” concept in general. That winking back at the camera and saying, “oh but WE KNOW we’re being cheesy”, suddenly makes said cheese wittily cool. So the assertion that the filmakers MEANT for the silly cheap gag to be a silly cheap gag, doesn’t mitigate the silly cheapness.

  44. I honestly felt how over the top the story was and the darkly ridiculous moments in it were intentional and I laughed at how audacious it was. It was a comedy of how one stupid act after another leads to monsterfucking and monster rape and lots of death. So everyone, please keep your scientific knowledge in your pants and be a bit more thoughtful about messing about with genetics.

  45. I don`t get it. It`s okay to “enjoy” violence, murder, reckless driving, torture, genocide and all sorts of abuse in entertainment, but if you like a movie that contains rape, you are a sicko?

    I like a lot of movies with sexuel violence. Hell, some of them are my favorite movies. Blue Velvet, Straw Dogs, most of Miikes stuff, Caspar Noe, The Hills have eyes, Urotsukidoji, Bruno Dumont, Cannibal Holocaust, etc. Sometimes the rape-scenes are unbearable to sit through ( I had to walk out during Irreversible). Sometimes they are thrilling, playing with the audiences dark fantasies and forbidden sexuality (Blue Velvet). Sometimes they are even funny (Visitor Q). I even get a kick out of tasteless explotation like Emanuelle and The Last Cannibals, Fulci, Franco and etc.

    Almost everybody are fascinated by rape, like we are fascinated by war, abuse, violence and all the other horrible shit we are confronted with in real life. Most people have forbidden fantasies about rape. Saying that you are a pervert because you get a kick out of sexuel taboos in fiction, is like saying you`re a potentiel massmurderer if you enjoy The Expendables.

    Come on, we are all grown-ups. We know rape is bad and we can tell the difference between real life and fiction. Yes, sometimes the lines are blurred, a movie is too realistic in it`s depiction of violence, war or sexual abuse to enjoy, but that depends on the eye of the beholder.

    Some directors like too mess with our perspective of right and wrong, play with forbidden thoughts and feelings and confront the audience with it`s own dark fantasies. That`s one of the many reasons I love cinema.

  46. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 7th, 2010 at 2:29 am

    DNA> Just the mention of the rape scene in Irriversable makes me feel ill. A friend of mine rented it out, I was sold on Monnica Bellucci maybe getting her jugs out. Big mistake.

  47. I think many people have a problem with rape scenes that are meant to be sexually titillating, because rape is something that they are familiar with in their own lives.

    I’ve known many women – friends and lovers – who have been raped and sexually abused in their past. They are normal women, none of whom ever reported the incident to police, and didn’t tell about it to anyone else either, except for some very close friends. The thing with rape is that by large it *is* accepted in society. If a woman is drunk, scantily clad, on a date, etc, and she gets raped, she probably gets the blame for it if she ever tells anyone. Rape is also very widespread – And obviously I’m not talking about men attacking women from bushes.

    So it hits close to home to many people. And it’s easy to get upset if a movie makes rape “fun”, as it is not much fun for people who have either been raped, or people who know someone who has been raped. A movie that makes rape fun and titillating might come off as something that supports the rape culture, and empowers it.

    On the other hand most of us don’t have much personal experience with murder, torture or genocide. Those things don’t feel personal. And while most of us know someone who has been beaten up, getting beaten up generally doesn’t scar you as much as getting raped. Most people who get beat up don’t get beat up *that* bad and can simply shrug it off. Also rape is pretty much the only act of violence where usually the victim takes the blame, which adds to the anger of the victims and their closed-ones.

    I think these are the reasons why a lot of people are uncomfortable with rape scenes, particularly if the rape scene is clearly meant to titillate.

    Personally, I don’t really have a problem with them. Movies are movies, and I think it’s good they also reflect our darker side, regardless of whether everyone approves or not.

    But I can easily understand why someone would have a problem with that kind of entertainment.

  48. - tukka

    I think you got a point, but some of the girls I know who have fantasies about rape and abuse, have been molested themself. People who have been abused need to abuse. I prefer that they live out their abusive tendencies with sexuel role-playing, fantasy or fiction. Sometimes it can even be a cathartic experienxe to see somebody else be abused or mutilated in a movie. A friend of mine, who has suffered all sorts of sexuel abuse from a very young age, collects tentacle-porn. She loves to crack jokes about pedophilia. But when she watches a superficial piece of shit movie like PRECIOUS, she explodes in rage and suffers a mental breakdown.

    She hates rape and abuse, but she loves it in fiction. Especieally monsterfucking.

    I haven`t seen Splice, but I`m pretty sure that she would love every second of it, laughing her ass off and joke about it for hours afterwards. I`m pretty sure that it would turn her on too. And what`s wrong with that? She`s not a potential rapist, she knows the consequenses of abuse, but abuse has formed her sexuality, and condemning her sexuality as “bad” or “wrong”, is narrowminded and destructive. (..as long as she doesn`t hurt other people, off course..)

  49. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 7th, 2010 at 6:35 am

    What the F U C K is tenticle porn?!? If you just made that shit up, you are a sick genius.

  50. dna – I had a date once who revealed to me that her “kink” was forced impregnation.

    I got the fucking hell out of there.

  51. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 7th, 2010 at 6:41 am

    RRA> She wanted a rape baby or wanted to impregnate your good self?

  52. Ace – If she wanted to knock me up, she must have saw JUNIOR one too many times.

    The worst thing about it was, she apparently thought this would turn me on or something. Dear lord that’s more disturbing than the kink itself, which makes me even more depressed regarding how others see me.

  53. Ace Mac Ashbrook

    October 7th, 2010 at 7:13 am

    No, I was only kidding pal. I wasn’t thinking when I posted. I was still screaming laughing at “tentacle porn” Honestly, thats made me laugh myself sick.

  54. CEO – god
    Clive Nikoli – Adam
    Elsa – Lilith (Lilith was created by God from clay, like Adam, and therefore his equal)
    William – Archangel Michael (alternate reading: Cherub)
    Newstead Labs – Eden

    Elsa and Clive are told not to go further with their research; not to see to eat from the fruit of their knowledge. They defy the edict and work on the problem separately until Clive changes the music to saxophone-heavy jazz, at which point they work together, frequently touching affectionately. They create an entirely new life form (Fred and Ginger from the prologue were mutations) and become co-creators with God (see Nietzsche.) this life-form will eventually be revealed as being superior to man in every way (amphibian, able to fly – the oldest of man’s dreams – supremely intelligent, possibly immortal except by extreme prejudice.)

    Elsa uses temptation to trick Clive into inseminating the ovum. She will later brush aside Clive’s warning of not having a condom.

    The ovum is placed into a machine that is female (it’s anagram spels BETI and there is a sticker of Betty Page on the glass); less a machine than a uterus.

    Dren Version 1 is cut via cesarian by the male doctor (Clive.)

    Clive wants to kill Dren as a mistake but Elsa takes to calling it “her” and there is mutual imprinting (as foreshadowed by Fred and Ginger. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were the first couple to star in a movie scored by the Gershwins, themselves first generation American immigrants (i.e. pioneers in the Promised Land) and innovators of what is now called the Great American Song Book.)

    Clive uses (male) physical force to ply Dren to his will, which fails. Elsa uses cajoling care, which works.

    When Dren first shows signs of intelligence, Elsa names things (muddled? naming was the prerogative of Adam in the garden of Eden.)

    Clive and Elsa hide their discovery (Adam and Eve hid from God after eating the fruit of knowledge) then have sex. Elsa is on top.

    Clive and Elsa’s shameful secret is exposed (negligence with Fred and Ginger while preoccupied with their new knowledge) and they are cast out of Eden into the cold world (a farm in winter).

    Clive imprints onto Dren when he sees her eating meat (a rabbit. Rabbits = prolific + frequent subjects of medical-scientific experiments) – the traditional result of male hunting persuits.

    In the very next scene, Elsa walks around the barn in a shirt with a rabbit stitching and sternly scolds Dren, then abruptly turns to manipulative guilting – less a mommy than a mother.

    Clive talks to Dren as to a person for the first time, using “her” instead of “it”, and takes her side: “She’s just upset. Everything’s new.”

    Dren goes through her mother’s things and awakens to womanhood with a tiara, a mirror and a barbie doll. She catches a pussy and strokes it.

    Dren attempts to communicate but is unsuccessful. Clive wears a shirt with a prominent red heart design – in a moment he will prevent Dren’s impending flight by telling her of love. In this scene, Dren is revealed as an angel figure, possibly Lucifer. Lucifer disobeyed an order from God to bow to Adam (if Elsa became Adam earlier in the movie when she named things) and as a result was forced out of heaven and given respite until the day of judgement from further punishment.

    Two readings are possible: in one reading Lucifer refuses out of pride but in another, it is out of LOVE for God because Lucifer was made of fire whereas Man was made of mere clay.

    Elsa finds a number of drawing of Clive. Clive has now become God from Dren’s point of view: first as a wrathful father figure who killed her so she may be reborn, now as an object of adoration. This stokes Elsa’s jealousy as co-creator and supposed equal to Clive. ‘Leave me!’ Lilith said to the angels sent to retrieve her. ‘I was created only to cause sickness to infants. If the infant is male, I have dominion over him for eight days after his birth, and if female, for twenty days.’

    Clive teaches Dren art (dance), introduces her to science (music = math. See Harmonic Mean, Scales, Ratios, etc) He holds her hand and a form of communion is initiated “I am a man. Okay? I’m the man. I lead. The man leads.” Dren looks up into the sky; bliss.

    Clive falls in love with his creation. In the next scene he has a fight with Elsa about her family, accusing her of being tainted by a form of original sin.

    Elsa reveals Dren has part of her: thus Dren and her are sisters. Elsa then violates Dren: maiming her penetrating appendage while she lays helpless, naked and without clearly defined genitals.

    Clive “saves” Dren and they seem to commune at a distance. The creator craves the touch of his creation. Meanwhile, Elsa sneaks back into Eden and “plays God” one final time.

    Clive “knows” his creation which is revealed again as an angel in full light (and on top) – Elsa arrives just as Clive is about to be penetrated from behind by Dren’s regrown stinger.

    The rest of the film falls into a diffuse mess equating violence, rape and death with strong masculinity: reappearance of William, full of cocky authority; Dren asserting her maleness: penetration and domination. Elsa (she who made food with ruffage) kills Dren with a rock, echoing the First murder.

    Denouement and plant for SPLICE2.

    There is also another textual reading of gender roles: cajoling, manipulative women VS “nice” males (Adrian Brody is one of very few who could have played Clive). A third is a more purely focussed feminist point of view: God is a woman, from a woman’s rib came Dren, unleashed masulinity = aggression.

    There’s quite a bit going on in this film, even if it self-implodes post-climax. Har-har.

  55. - Ace Mac Ashbrook

    Tentacle-porn is a japanese sub-genre of hentai (drawn or animated pornography). It was originally a way of getting around the japanese law on pornography, which clearly states that it`s illigal to show a penis penetrating a vagina. But it didn`t say anything about showing a tentacle penetrating a vagina, so they started making a lot of anime with monsters raping young girls. They are all terrible of course, except the original UROTSUKIDOJI aov 1-3, which is some sort of sick demented twisted masterpiece. (My friend says that demon beast invasion is pretty good too, but I haven`t seen that one.)

    Urotsukidoji inspired a bunch of rip-offs and was even turned into a soft-core live-action series. It`s basically young girls with big breasts and no acting skills who fight terrible latex-monsters and loose. Yes, I tried to watch them. They are very bad in a good way.

  56. dna> Thanks for the info. I resisted looking it up on the net for fear of an awful Curb Your Enthusiasm moment at work. As soon as I read Japanese, the whole thing sounded plausable. Still the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Like a kinky Power Rangers.

  57. Does Avatar count as a Hentai? It’s animated, and there is tentacle sex…

  58. I’d like to take a quick moment to point out that the credit sequence to this movie is awesome. It’s one of the most memorable credit sequences I’ve seen since PANIC ROOM. Discuss.

  59. Reminded me of the credits in FIGHT CLUB.

  60. Marlow> It must count as monster tentacle fucking. They are at it with all sorts.

  61. Oh my god , that’s some fucked up shit , right there. I mean , we went to see Predators , and outside the cinema there was a poster with only the face of that thing , and I was thinking that it was pretty weird . Then , inside , there was a larger poster , and I was able to see the tail , and I was thinking : “You know what , this is starting to creep me out , and I find it a little gross” . Then right before entering the projection room at the second floor there was a cardboard stand-up of that thing and I was able to see the complete design , face , tail and “legs”.
    Good lord that’s nasty , brilliant design , it’s been a while since I was so disturbed by a movie creature .

  62. So? Why could “boy” Dren speak a little English while “girl” Dren only made happy chipmunk noises?

    Also, I live in Japan and feel that it’s my duty as a morally upstanding expat to report that any local porn shop here has a wide selection of tentacle/alien/monsterdaughter fucking videos to purchase… Not that I would know much about that… Ahem.

    I’ll just say that after 8 years in this sometimes bizarre country, no amount of monsterdaughter fucking surprises me any more… Unless chipmunk noises are involved. Then it’s a little shocking…

  63. All I know is that I just got around to seeing this, and. . .shit’s mighty fucked up right here. A good, well-made movie, with some interesting ideas and all that. But, dude. . .there is both monster fucking AND monster rape. I thought I was watching some kind of A-list anime or something.

  64. Yes, Adrien Brody’s character shouldn’t have had sex with his monster daughter, but more to the point, Sarah Polley’s character shouldn’t have 1) tried to force her to be a vegan 2) tried to make her live in a barn 3) taken away her cat 4) hit her with the shovel 5) strapped her to a table and cut off her tail and then her clothes and talked about her like she was a thing 6) failed to figure out that every time the daughter got sick and seemed dead she was really just about to undergo another huge mutation and therefore prematurely burying her and 7) interrupting that sweet, sweet monster lovin’ and 8) crushed her son’s head with a rock.

    Most Frankensteiny/science-gone-too-far movies just end up being parables about bad parenting and child abuse like Splice is. Which always perplexes me because they always try to make you sympathize with the scientists even after showing them fail as parents.

  65. Holy shit, dude! This movie is hilarious!

  66. billydeethrilliams

    March 22nd, 2011 at 6:43 am

    In this movie, Adrien Brody fucks Billy Corgan.

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